Time for Honesty

I’m really not trying to use this as a platform for my complaining, but I want to keep it real here.  I don’t want anyone to look at me and think “she has it all together, why can’t I”.  I have looked at so many other people that wan and it only leads to me feeling worse. 

I don’t even want to show you this.  It’s not pretty.  It’s possible I will loose some friends. 

My house looks like this:

Actually, the pictures make it look better than it actually is.  I hope you didn’t all just un-friend me on facebook.  Please don’t call CPS.

I’m struggling.  Balancing everything is pushing me quickly towards insanity.  Working full time, taking care of a baby, a husband, a house, cooking, church responsibilities, QUIET TIME.  It’s not happening.  In fact, only 2 are happening- working full time and taking care of Cason…. but I wouldn’t say those are happening well.  I’m exhausted, constantly exhausted.  I’ve tried different schedules and different routines to try and balance it all.  Just when I’ve added in one additional thing- someone gets sick, or it snows, or something- and it throws everything into a downward spiral and we are back to takeout and a bedroom that looks like the smoke monster has visited. 

You know those spinning things on the playground?  I feel like I’m on one, and it’s moving a little too fast, and the world is zipping by too fast for me too see, and I wonder how much longer I can hold on.  Cason is almost a year old and I’m wondering “what happened to summer?  Did I miss Christmas?”  I see other working moms and they don’t look like they are clinging to a spinning playground toy.  Am I doing something wrong? 

I know- number one thing is to get your priorities in order.  That means God first.  Sounds easy enough.  I don’t even know what a quiet time is anymore.  When Cason goes to bed I work trying to get everything done that I couldn’t get done when he was awake, then I crash into bed hoping he doesn’t wake up in the middle of the night so I won’t get any less sleep.  In the mornings Cason can hear my eyes open (seriously) and he’s up when I am, another missed quiet time opportunity.  Maybe when I first get to work?  Well, I’m so stressed about getting all my hours in so I don’t loose my insurance I don’t have time at work either. 

I’ve always had a lot going on.  I’m used to balancing a lot of things.  I’ve been busy since as long as I remember.  That was NOTHING compared to this. 

I could go on but I’m tired.  Was preparing to go to bed but baby is crying.  I hope this isn’t another long night.

I could use your prayers.  I’m overwhelmed… and tired… and so many other things. 

A Journey

 

Hello Sweetie. 

Where are you going?

Guard your face from the beast.

The beast becomes a traveling companion. 

They reach a major hurdle.

Hurdle conquered.  Now to cross the ugly tile floor in a food-less kitchen.

A pause for a friendly conversation and a wave goodbye.

Goodbye my love.

Enjoy your journey.

Crawling makes life more interesting.

 

Now that you are here, head over to my design blog and check out our weekend kitchen project.  You can find it HERE.

Target Bargains

I love Target- it’s my weakness… one of many.  Cason and I go to Target when we need to get out of the house.  It’s my default place.  We wander all the aisles and see what’s new.  I’m getting quite good at finding where they hide the really good deals.  Okay, so it doesn’t take a genius to figure it out- but given our current desire to save money, bargain hunting has become much more of a sport.  Here’s a tip- there are clearance on the end caps of some of the aisles- typically 30% off.  All of the items I found below in the middle of an aisle- usually related to the product but not the original aisle which it was sold on.  So, check the end caps but also check the middle.  And I didn’t even need my Target manager sister to tell me that.

  Here’s some plastic glasses, plates, and a tray.  The glasses and plates were $.74 each.  Yeah, that’s less than a dollar.  The tray was $3.00.  I think it was like 80% off or something.  I bought these as I dreamed about eating outside on our patio when the weather is nice.  Typically we eat outside once a year, but with cute plates and cups I’m certain we will eat outside more.  Certain.

Let’s just say I needed new oven mitts.  I’ll just leave it at that.  The towels were just a bonus.  We actually have a pack of about 50 sams white kitchen towels that we rotate through in a week.  These are the decorative towels that we will actually not be using, just help make the kitchen look better.  I think the oven mitts were $2 each and the towels were $6.  I threw the old mitts away immediately. 

So go and bargain hunt!  Let’s see what you find!

 

Snow Day!

Yea, I love snow.  I snapped this photo in the backyard and I love how it turned out.  Snow helps take away the fact that we have very little decent landscaping back there.  Cason still had school and I didn’t venture out to work so I got to drop him off and pick him up and see what a city covered in snow looks like.  I can handle not seeing the sun if there was snow.  It made the whole world feel lighter!  Hope you all had a good snow day!

Baby Legs

I love these things but Mike it’s a fan.  First of all, they keep his legs warm while he’s crawling in the winter. 

And they’re just too darn cute. 

He’s very talented- crawling up the stairs step.  Too bad he can’t figure out how to get back down.

Charger gives him a sniff. 

It’s all good.

Where’s Cason?

I can’t see him.  If only I hadn’t put him in the camo.  My uncle sent him this cool camo outfit from Bass Pro Shop.  There’s overalls to go with but that was a little heavy for the walk.

He’s hiding in the bathroom.

“Let me out!” 
I feel like I’m so behind.  I have so many pictures and stories and so little time.  Lots going on.  I’ll catch up soon!  I've been trying to stay updated on my design blog (see link to the right) so check it out if you have a chance.